how i feel

one line

..i miss my mom..
='c

s0o0 breaking 0ut

ok,it's 0fficial!
i am terribly breaking out!

red,white,black..
over,under..
huge,tiny..
sore,painless..

what is it?

ACNE!

i've never experienced this much acne
so right now,i am freaking out!

i have been taking care of my face since forever
& now,it just kills me to see those darn blemishes!

what did i do wrong?!

..been past the puberty thingy so why now?!
can it be just somebody else?!(kidding!)

i can't stand looking at the mirror coz i don't like what i see!
it's not actually that bad,it's just on my forehead.
but yet,it's still acne. it means dirt,bacteria..ewww!!

well maybe i am overacting
i just wasn't used to this.
let's just put it this way, i am new to this thing
so its natural for me to be bothered,
RIGHT???!!!

Those Guys From Above

i started to pray the rosary two days ago.well, it was just a random decision and i am really hoping that God would help me have a job. i have been looking for one since January and I am starting to lose hope. I just needed a little push.

Guess what, it has been two days,right? A few hours ago, I received a call from Burger King and they want me to come over for training or something. I was so happy! Who would have thought that just praying the rosary would actually work.

I do believe in God and the like. It's just that, I am not the extreme believer,you know. But now, hey, there's no harm in putting your faith in Him. All I know is that, it works & I'll be praying more often. Promise! Seriously!

passion & bringing home the bacon

..i miss writing.

..i miss class.

..i miss school.

..haykz, i wanna go back to school. i still want to continue Mass Communication. Mom said, it's okay if i continue it. Thing is, MassComm won't bring much money. Medical courses is still the trend here.

..now, i am really in between. I want to pursue my passion but at the same time, i want to help my family finacially. so what do i do?

..for now, I'll think things over...

hate me?!...hate u!!

auntie Luz hates us coz':
1. she's menopausal! Duh!
2. ever since we arrived, she's not the princess anymore.(Oh, wait, she still is--Princess Fiona,that is!!)
3. she doesn't want me sleeping in her bed...greedy much!
4. she has a lot of debts & we instantly became her target!
5. she doesn't know how to use the computer & again, we are to blame!
6. now, she has to share her food with us...she can't stand it!
7. we don't eat that much food at buffets. Hello, we're not like you!
8. she can't fit on clothes & i can

we hate her coz:
1. she's menopausal!yeah!
2. she acts as if she's in control
3. she disrespect us, most especially my brother, right at our face
4. she gets mad for no reason at all
5. she's a know-it-all!!
6. she acts as if we are inferior when in fact, we know a lot more!
7. she scrutinizes our every move
8. she pretends to be so kind to us in front of Mama

..i think that respect begets respect. so if she wants me to respect her,show some yourself! as far as i know, we have done nothing against her for her to hate us this much. the only thing we did is to come here. if i only knew beforehand that we will be living with her, we should haven't come. so don't blame us for being here. it's not our choice. it's our mom's.

ALMOST DIDN'T BREATHE

Her name is Divina. Just Divina.

I assume she was born on the late 1950’s considering the fact that Divina is a perfect choice during those times. I’d say, Divine would be much better.

She is a Filipina. A native of Samar to be exact.

In every person’s life, there will always be a time where you want to be independent. For Divina, independence means moving out of her parent’s house. She tried her luck in Baguio City. There she made a living. There she grew.

And there, she found love.

Right then & there, she met a Chinese man. What can I say! Boy, they were in love!

Time passed, their love grew deeper. All they want is to spend the rest of their lives together. So they’ve decided to get married. Divina was ecstatic! In God’s grace, they were united as one.

That life is Divina’s very own dream come true. She has a loving husband who treated her just right. In return, she did love him just as much!

From that love & elation he and Divina have, a baby girl was born. Half- Chinese...half- Filipina…born in 1986. At that moment, Divina didn’t want anything more. She has a perfect life & her beautiful baby girl will always be the living proof.

Like any other tales, there would always be “that wicked moment.” Divina’s story was no exception.

After some time of total bliss, Divina’s husband decided to go to Hong Kong to earn a living. A decision she ached for. She wanted her family to stick together but there was nothing she could do. Although she was hurting, she allowed her husband to go.

He left. She grew bored.

Divina’s baby girl made her happy for sure. But it wasn’t enough. Out of her loneliness, she sought for companionship.

There she met a guy.

They started going out. Things went on…and on…and on…until that moment she gave in. Divina slept with the guy.

That is the biggest mistake she ever did. She’s still very much in love with her husband
.So Divina ended her relationship with the guy.

From that time on, everything went on perfectly…for a month at least!

Divina thought, leaving the guy would rid her of her sin. But no, that mistake left a trace.

She got pregnant.

With that news, everything came crashing down on Divina. That pregnancy threatened her once perfect life. She had to do some thing!

From the very time Divina knew she was pregnant, she was already certain that she won’t go through the pregnancy. Abortion is her only option. But she was scared to go under the knife. So she started wearing a girdle-a very tight one- hoping that the baby would eventually die and be miscarried.

Five months later, the baby was still there. Divina continued wearing the girdle. She really wanted the baby gone. Desperate enough, she confided to her friend, Mila de Guzman. Divina asked Mila if she knows an abortionist. Mila didn’t know anyone and she doesn’t want Divina to have an abortion so she told Divina that she’d find a family that would be willing to take the baby as their own. Divina agreed.

Mila looked for a family. But she was unlucky.

Mila started to lose hope. She wanted to back out but she pitied the baby so much.

Until that day

Mila went out with her co-worker & friend, Lori. Mila told Divina’s story to Lori. On the other hand, Lori told Mila that she’d be glad to take the baby.

Mila was so happy. She immediately brought the news to Divina. In return, Divina was also very much happy. She no longer needs the girdle. Finally, the mark of her mistake will be gone.

From that time on, Divina was freed from all her worries- including the financial part. Lori took care of everything-from Divina’s pregnancy to her home rent…and all.

After four months, Divina’s water just broke. It’s time! She’s having the baby.

She was brought to the hospital. Divina went through all the pain until finally, a baby girl was born. It was her second baby girl.

But unlike her first baby, Divina didn’t want to hold her second baby. She didn’t even take a glance of her newborn.
The baby girl’s first hours in life was spent in the hospital’s nursery.

The next day, Lori arrived at the hospital.

Lori immediately went to the nursery. She looked at Divina’s baby girl & loved the baby. But she was having second thoughts of taking the baby because the baby had brown spots all over her body. The doctor reassured Lori that the spots are result of the girdle Divina wore and that those spots will be gone after a week or so. Upon hearing that, Lori took the baby girl in her hands and said, “This will be a pretty girl & someday, she’ll have a good life!”

Right then & there, Lori registered the baby as her own and took her home.

After having birth, Divina went on her life as if nothing happened. Like what she thought earlier, Divina didn’t want anything more. Here husband and her first born baby girl are enough for her.

Lori on the other hand, is having the time of her life with her baby girl. But one thing still needs to be done.

So three months later, she invited Divina to come see her daughter.

Divina did come…but not for her daughter. She came for three thousand pesos that Lori handed her right at the doorsteps of Lori’s home. She never made it inside. Divina never saw nor held her second baby girl.

That was the last time Divina was seen & heard.

Probably, she went back to Samar with her daughter or she went to Hong Kong to follow her husband. For all I know, Divina is history & her life will always be a fairytale tainted with a sin.

And who is the baby girl, if you may ask?

That was ME….

Originally born November 15, 1988 but was legally registered the next day, November 16, 1988. A product of infidelity from 2 people who from the very first sign of my existence, wanted me dead.

I was almost deprived of life…Identity almost lost…Almost didn’t breathe.

I look at myself and question, “Who do I look like, Divina or ‘that guy’?” But it doesn’t matter anymore, right?

19 years have passed and every minute of my life is a divine providence. Divina tried to take my right of life away from me, but God never allowed that to happen. I lived!

I was never seen in the eyes of my biological mother, Divina but I was seen in the eyes of the 2 greatest foster mothers ever, Florence (Lori) & Edna.

Now, unlike Divina, I am not “just Ahrra.” I am Ahrra Honeylytte T. Dominguez!

how twisted life is

don't you guys find it weird that when you're in a relationship,all you want to do is let go and go solo again., when you're already single, all you want to do is have a boyfriend., weird huh??

i guess people just never get contented...

there will always be something that they want...

people want more...

even if it doesn't make much sense.

bff much!!

i love her
& i consider her as my sister
but i hate her too
i despise what she says & do

she is my bestfriend
from then til now,
she's still the one i always defend

she has been mean
but at the end of the day,
she still wins..
she always gets her way!

we tried everything we can
to have back the sweet girl we knew back then
but things just can't be the way it was
coz of the fact that we can't dwell on the past

things have changed in a million ways
& our friendship is not all weepees & yeheys

i used to say,"i love to hate her"
but now i say, 'i hate it coz i love her so!"