my c0nfessi0ns

2010-01-08T00:07:00.000-08:00

new year's resolutions:

(which i will hopefully follow)
1. save a percentage of my pay and put it in the bank.
2. avoid eating from fastfoods. (cut down those calories baby!)
3. be a better person..seriously
4. help someone out more often..good karma
5. go to church as much as i could..
6. visit my mom more and try to be closer to her
7. stop being too vain
8. cut down spending on unnecessary stuff

**half of it is for me and the other half is for others cause as much as i could i don't wanna be too shallow this year. i wanna do more for other people...like, help out my coworkers more, go over to my mom's house every now and then. basically, i just wanna be better this year since i've been hella disappointing for the past years. also, this 2010, i like to be closer to God just cause He's been there for me even on those times that I don't really deserve it. so yeah, Happy 2010!!

I'll try to stick to this..i swear!

2010

2010-01-05T07:11:00.000-08:00

HaPpY nEw YeAr GuYs!!!

how i feel

2008-07-19T22:02:00.002-07:00

one line

..i miss my mom..
='c

s0o0 breaking 0ut

2008-06-12T21:24:00.002-07:00

ok,it's 0fficial!
i am terribly breaking out!

red,white,black..
over,under..
huge,tiny..
sore,painless..

what is it?

ACNE!

i've never experienced this much acne
so right now,i am freaking out!

i have been taking care of my face since forever
& now,it just kills me to see those darn blemishes!

what did i do wrong?!

..been past the puberty thingy so why now?!
can it be just somebody else?!(kidding!)

i can't stand looking at the mirror coz i don't like what i see!
it's not actually that bad,it's just on my forehead.
but yet,it's still acne. it means dirt,bacteria..ewww!!

well maybe i am overacting
i just wasn't used to this.
let's just put it this way, i am new to this thing
so its natural for me to be bothered,
RIGHT???!!!

Those Guys From Above

2008-04-11T16:17:00.003-07:00

i started to pray the rosary two days ago.well, it was just a random decision and i am really hoping that God would help me have a job. i have been looking for one since January and I am starting to lose hope. I just needed a little push.

Guess what, it has been two days,right? A few hours ago, I received a call from Burger King and they want me to come over for training or something. I was so happy! Who would have thought that just praying the rosary would actually work.

I do believe in God and the like. It's just that, I am not the extreme believer,you know. But now, hey, there's no harm in putting your faith in Him. All I know is that, it works & I'll be praying more often. Promise! Seriously!

passion & bringing home the bacon

2008-04-01T16:34:00.002-07:00

..i miss writing.

..i miss class.

..i miss school.

..haykz, i wanna go back to school. i still want to continue Mass Communication. Mom said, it's okay if i continue it. Thing is, MassComm won't bring much money. Medical courses is still the trend here.

..now, i am really in between. I want to pursue my passion but at the same time, i want to help my family finacially. so what do i do?

..for now, I'll think things over...

hate me?!...hate u!!

2008-04-01T16:15:00.002-07:00

auntie Luz hates us coz':
1. she's menopausal! Duh!
2. ever since we arrived, she's not the princess anymore.(Oh, wait, she still is--Princess Fiona,that is!!)
3. she doesn't want me sleeping in her bed...greedy much!
4. she has a lot of debts & we instantly became her target!
5. she doesn't know how to use the computer & again, we are to blame!
6. now, she has to share her food with us...she can't stand it!
7. we don't eat that much food at buffets. Hello, we're not like you!
8. she can't fit on clothes & i can

we hate her coz:
1. she's menopausal!yeah!
2. she acts as if she's in control
3. she disrespect us, most especially my brother, right at our face
4. she gets mad for no reason at all
5. she's a know-it-all!!
6. she acts as if we are inferior when in fact, we know a lot more!
7. she scrutinizes our every move
8. she pretends to be so kind to us in front of Mama

..i think that respect begets respect. so if she wants me to respect her,show some yourself! as far as i know, we have done nothing against her for her to hate us this much. the only thing we did is to come here. if i only knew beforehand that we will be living with her, we should haven't come. so don't blame us for being here. it's not our choice. it's our mom's.

ALMOST DIDN'T BREATHE

2008-02-28T16:22:00.000-08:00

Her name is Divina. Just Divina.

I assume she was born on the late 1950’s considering the fact that Divina is a perfect choice during those times. I’d say, Divine would be much better.

She is a Filipina. A native of Samar to be exact.

In every person’s life, there will always be a time where you want to be independent. For Divina, independence means moving out of her parent’s house. She tried her luck in Baguio City. There she made a living. There she grew.

And there, she found love.

Right then & there, she met a Chinese man. What can I say! Boy, they were in love!

Time passed, their love grew deeper. All they want is to spend the rest of their lives together. So they’ve decided to get married. Divina was ecstatic! In God’s grace, they were united as one.

That life is Divina’s very own dream come true. She has a loving husband who treated her just right. In return, she did love him just as much!

From that love & elation he and Divina have, a baby girl was born. Half- Chinese...half- Filipina…born in 1986. At that moment, Divina didn’t want anything more. She has a perfect life & her beautiful baby girl will always be the living proof.

Like any other tales, there would always be “that wicked moment.” Divina’s story was no exception.

After some time of total bliss, Divina’s husband decided to go to Hong Kong to earn a living. A decision she ached for. She wanted her family to stick together but there was nothing she could do. Although she was hurting, she allowed her husband to go.

He left. She grew bored.

Divina’s baby girl made her happy for sure. But it wasn’t enough. Out of her loneliness, she sought for companionship.

There she met a guy.

They started going out. Things went on…and on…and on…until that moment she gave in. Divina slept with the guy.

That is the biggest mistake she ever did. She’s still very much in love with her husband
.So Divina ended her relationship with the guy.

From that time on, everything went on perfectly…for a month at least!

Divina thought, leaving the guy would rid her of her sin. But no, that mistake left a trace.

She got pregnant.

With that news, everything came crashing down on Divina. That pregnancy threatened her once perfect life. She had to do some thing!

From the very time Divina knew she was pregnant, she was already certain that she won’t go through the pregnancy. Abortion is her only option. But she was scared to go under the knife. So she started wearing a girdle-a very tight one- hoping that the baby would eventually die and be miscarried.

Five months later, the baby was still there. Divina continued wearing the girdle. She really wanted the baby gone. Desperate enough, she confided to her friend, Mila de Guzman. Divina asked Mila if she knows an abortionist. Mila didn’t know anyone and she doesn’t want Divina to have an abortion so she told Divina that she’d find a family that would be willing to take the baby as their own. Divina agreed.

Mila looked for a family. But she was unlucky.

Mila started to lose hope. She wanted to back out but she pitied the baby so much.

Until that day

Mila went out with her co-worker & friend, Lori. Mila told Divina’s story to Lori. On the other hand, Lori told Mila that she’d be glad to take the baby.

Mila was so happy. She immediately brought the news to Divina. In return, Divina was also very much happy. She no longer needs the girdle. Finally, the mark of her mistake will be gone.

From that time on, Divina was freed from all her worries- including the financial part. Lori took care of everything-from Divina’s pregnancy to her home rent…and all.

After four months, Divina’s water just broke. It’s time! She’s having the baby.

She was brought to the hospital. Divina went through all the pain until finally, a baby girl was born. It was her second baby girl.

But unlike her first baby, Divina didn’t want to hold her second baby. She didn’t even take a glance of her newborn.
The baby girl’s first hours in life was spent in the hospital’s nursery.

The next day, Lori arrived at the hospital.

Lori immediately went to the nursery. She looked at Divina’s baby girl & loved the baby. But she was having second thoughts of taking the baby because the baby had brown spots all over her body. The doctor reassured Lori that the spots are result of the girdle Divina wore and that those spots will be gone after a week or so. Upon hearing that, Lori took the baby girl in her hands and said, “This will be a pretty girl & someday, she’ll have a good life!”

Right then & there, Lori registered the baby as her own and took her home.

After having birth, Divina went on her life as if nothing happened. Like what she thought earlier, Divina didn’t want anything more. Here husband and her first born baby girl are enough for her.

Lori on the other hand, is having the time of her life with her baby girl. But one thing still needs to be done.

So three months later, she invited Divina to come see her daughter.

Divina did come…but not for her daughter. She came for three thousand pesos that Lori handed her right at the doorsteps of Lori’s home. She never made it inside. Divina never saw nor held her second baby girl.

That was the last time Divina was seen & heard.

Probably, she went back to Samar with her daughter or she went to Hong Kong to follow her husband. For all I know, Divina is history & her life will always be a fairytale tainted with a sin.

And who is the baby girl, if you may ask?

That was ME….

Originally born November 15, 1988 but was legally registered the next day, November 16, 1988. A product of infidelity from 2 people who from the very first sign of my existence, wanted me dead.

I was almost deprived of life…Identity almost lost…Almost didn’t breathe.

I look at myself and question, “Who do I look like, Divina or ‘that guy’?” But it doesn’t matter anymore, right?

19 years have passed and every minute of my life is a divine providence. Divina tried to take my right of life away from me, but God never allowed that to happen. I lived!

I was never seen in the eyes of my biological mother, Divina but I was seen in the eyes of the 2 greatest foster mothers ever, Florence (Lori) & Edna.

Now, unlike Divina, I am not “just Ahrra.” I am Ahrra Honeylytte T. Dominguez!

how twisted life is

2008-02-14T16:54:00.002-08:00

don't you guys find it weird that when you're in a relationship,all you want to do is let go and go solo again., when you're already single, all you want to do is have a boyfriend., weird huh??

i guess people just never get contented...

there will always be something that they want...

people want more...

even if it doesn't make much sense.

bff much!!

2008-02-12T14:58:00.000-08:00

i love her
& i consider her as my sister
but i hate her too
i despise what she says & do

she is my bestfriend
from then til now,
she's still the one i always defend

she has been mean
but at the end of the day,
she still wins..
she always gets her way!

we tried everything we can
to have back the sweet girl we knew back then
but things just can't be the way it was
coz of the fact that we can't dwell on the past

things have changed in a million ways
& our friendship is not all weepees & yeheys

i used to say,"i love to hate her"
but now i say, 'i hate it coz i love her so!"

a piece of junk!

2008-02-01T15:41:00.000-08:00

i am so dead bored!i wanna do something about my life..

i want to work..

or go to school..

it's just that, things doesn't seem to go my way right now.

i have been waiting for the confirmation about the job i applied for.up to now, ate liza hasn't called yet.she said, i am definitely in but i just have to wait for an available slot.hanggang ngayon,wala pdin..

about my studies, mom keeps on saying that we're going to look for a good college but up to now, she's all words.ugh!

i am so tired of just lying down watching and stuffs like that.i want to make something out of my stay here.i want to be productive.

please,please,please!

uggghhh!

2008-01-31T22:02:00.000-08:00

call me crazy or something but i liked what i did..i feel so mature doing that...

well, everybody has their own sworn enemies,right?i have one., we've been hating on each other since elementary.,we like argued about everything from academics, friends, BOYS, and so on! it was really silly and childish,you know..

so after years of hate, i finally ended it..

i apologized!

i'm serious!

haha!.,i must be really crazy!

but i am proud of what i did nonetheless..

i can't believe it, i hate her gutz to the bone and now, here i am, apologizing.,i must be hexed or something!haha!

haykz!!

2008-01-30T23:27:00.000-08:00

ok,it's official...

i am seriously lost! i put myself into this situation & i don't know how to get out of it!
when i did it, all i wanted is to have my life back..but now, ironically, i want that back.
i sure wish i never even made that stupid, impulsive decision.

as i was lying on my bed last night, all i was thinking about is THAT!plus, i jumped into that conclusion without any exact reasons.you know what i mean?

what was i even thinking?!ugghh!!!
could i be any rasher??

shoulda,woulda,coulda--not me!
should haven't,would haven't, could haven't--totally me!!

can i go now???

2008-01-21T02:32:00.000-08:00

should you feel bad if you don't feel the same??
he's crying, you're not-should you be blamed??
if you're starting to lose the thrill,
would you play the game still??

if things begin to appear useless,
should you put it all to rest?

confused..
lost..
and totally troubled!

i don't wanna be the one who's down on my knees
maybe that's why i"m still here..still tolerating this
i am not going to jump into conclusions
coz i don't want to regret being pulled down by these confusions

i am staying..
..& i will try to not stop believing.

rise to the moment

2008-01-16T17:39:00.000-08:00

Home is an imperative part of every person’s life. It is where we started to be shaped to who we will someday be. Home is our refuge, our protection. It is where everything is so secure that we feel we can do great things.

It is also where we start to be socially oriented. As we grow older, we gradually step out of that comfort zone. To where? To our second home, which is school.

School is where we make friends. We choose a clique that we feel we belong to. It is where we have that first step to decide on our own. We may have stumbled down from the wrong choices but yet, we managed to stand and be gracious about it.

School is where we first get giddy and have that very first infatuation with someone else. It is also where that green-eyed monster begin to come out from us. It is where the chances of feeling all sorts of emotions are very high.

Home and school for most people is what they consider “the life.”

Take that away and fire would definitely be flaring up!

For the past 19 years of my life, I have been so comfy with where I am and who I’m with. I have established a comfort zone for myself. That is, I have my friends that are always around and I can go to the usual places I know I can never be lost.

Then it hit me…

I am booked for a flight to USA.

Just the thought of living out the next years of my life in a foreign land is overwhelming! No friends, no sleepovers, no nothing! I was so used to having other people by me and now, I have to face the world alone.

It is like being born again. I have to start from scratch. Everything is so out of my league.

The whole place is exhilarating but I sure love to enjoy it with my friends and the other people I left. All the opportunities that life can ever offer is staring right back at me but I can’t seem to put a smile on my face because I am so nostalgic. All I wanted to do is go back-go back to my comfort zone.

It took a little push from my friends to finally get myself together and stop having that defeatist attitude. Well it is true that at the start, everything would feel like the first day of school. I have to introduce myself (a lot of time, I may say!), get used to the new environment, and of course, scout for new friends.

Just as Brooke Davis said, “this is my life and I am making a stand for it.” I can make this game go my way. For that to happen, I have to be ME.

A lot of people think that a new environment equals a new persona. Isn’t being in a foreign land a struggle enough?! So why do people have to pretend to be someone they’re not just to fit in?!
It is hard to be the newbie but I never want to change just to belong. I already know that there will be rejections waiting ahead for me. Hey, there will always be a bad day—live with it.

I am all alone now and the only one I can lean on is myself. If I have a resistance with myself, then I would definitely be a loser. So I have to begin with myself. I have to believe in me, and before I know it, for sure, people will learn to believe in me too.

I brought here with me that mantra I have back in the Phils. That is, “I love myself, and if you don’t, who the hell cares!”

One thing I know for sure is that I will not be another Cady Heron (Mean Girls) that wanted to fit in so bad that she ended up being such a total b****. I am not afraid to be branded as a geek or a complete freak because at the end of the day, I’d still be happy with who I am and they’d still be kissing someone else’s ass just to fit in.

Without doubt, I would really be on a lot of dead ends but certainly, there will always be a road I can turn to and rise to the moment just as long as I stay true to myself.

When I left Philippines, I thought it is the end.
Turns out, my life is just beginning…

=c

2008-01-16T07:05:00.000-08:00

if i cry now, i'd be defeated..

...so i won't!!

confused much!

2008-01-16T06:55:00.000-08:00

please give me one good reason why is hould still believe in FOREVER...

this is the time i surely need an answer!!

emotionless!

2008-01-16T06:48:00.000-08:00

i don't think there's an emoticon to describe how i feel right now

i am defintely not happy..or laughing..or grinning for that matter!
i am somehow doubtful..just a little bit
i am in no mood to spread hugs & kisses..no smooches for now
i am sort of sleepy..but not really
i ain't mad..not at all
i don't look angelic..not devilish either!
i am not to say goodbyes yet
i am way,way past sad..or teary-eyed
& i am certainly not heart-broken...not yet!

is there an emoticon for a dying heart but with a struggling mind??

..........is there????

vision

2008-01-15T04:57:00.000-08:00

i am at the lowest point in my life
it seems like a very bad dream...& i can't wake up!

i really want to just have fun...didn't think it would be so hard

maybe i just wanted to experience all these with them

when i say them, i mean, my family..my friends..

i never pictured that i'd be doing this alone

i so want to go back & return to the way everything was but something within me just wants to give this a shot

weird huh??i am having resistance with myself!!

just when i am convinced to leave, i suddenly just say NO..

irony, irony!!

thing is, if i turned all this down, i would feel so defeated. i always go back to the vision i have...

if i stay,
...i can support & give back what my family deserves
...i can help my friends when they need me

they have helped me in so many ways and now, i have the opportunity to be the one helping them.i don't think i am going to waste that chance....

no matter how bad i feel right now, i would still prefer that they'd be happy!

2008-01-12T20:47:00.000-08:00

what do you do when you're not in control?
what do you do when your life's going down the drain??

"your dreams are not gonna happen," they say
"this is too much of a price for me to pay!"

i've cried...didn't show a trace
i put a smile on my face
but the tears just won't go away
i'm hurting inside almost everyday

i have no place to run to
i have no one to help me come through

coming here, i thought it's all good
but hey, i gues i just misunderstood

this is not for me
i am meant to be free

i am meant for those people i love
i am meant to be back there....

i'm losing it

2008-01-10T16:59:00.000-08:00

i woke up to find text messages from my friends
next thing i know, tears were falling down my face

truth is,i miss my friends so much

..those silly times

..sleepovers

..i miss being with them

..i even miss the fights

i feel so terrible that i had to leave during this time that i know they needed help..

i wanted to be there for them just as before..

but hey, life's a bitch!

i want to go back

i want my life back..

i want it so bad it makes me breakdown & cry until they realize that i am not for this crap!

real girl by mutya buena

2007-10-15T02:53:00.000-07:00

..a real filipina..i so like mutya coz she is proud of who she is..

..we should all be like her!..

babbles

2007-10-15T02:28:00.000-07:00

***
..i just came to a very odd conclusion!

..not all people that are in love are blooming.

why?

well, when i was still in a relationship(meaning, i am in love!), i wasn't really blooming at all and people around me are a witness of that!

now that i am plain, and simply single, people always say i am blooming.what??confusing isn't it..it just proves that being in love is not really the reason why people are happy and blooming!!

i am confused myself. when we were still together, i really never found a thrill in me to dress up and fix myself..but now, i like getting dolled up!! explanations for it are better left unsaid.whatever it is, i am glad!

***
final exams are really draining!ugh!

i haven't started taking my exams yet but i am dead tired from all the lines and the walkathons i had to endure just to get a clearance and a permit! COLLEGE LIFE IS REALLY AGING ME!

then tomorrow, i have 4 exams to take.supposedly it should be only 1 but i have to go to manila by wednesday for my medical exam(for the visa)so i have no choice but to take my wednesday exams tomorrow.(haba ng sentence!)

sana lang maipasa koh lahat..sayang naman efforts ko noh!

***
today is somewhat like a reunion for all my friends and classmates.
halos lahat sila nakasalubong ko today!

supah fun!

kahit tiring ang day koh, it is alright coz i get to see my friends again...

***
pros and cons of being active in school:

*pros*
-you get freebies!
-you instantly become well-known at school
-you get to befriend instructors..and eventually ask them for favors!(likey-likey!)
-you get a scholarship(for some)

*cons*
-you are always asked to recite(coz the instructors know you)
-you get twice the work!
-overly tiring!

..i do wish at times that i am active but at some point, i do not like it either.haha!well, i like having more friends but i don't like having more loads!

..i am just a normal kolehiyala!!!

***
i officially hate spams and ads from the internet!

ugh!!

my laptop is now so loaded with viruses coz of it.. so i have to update my antivirus again!!

ish talaga!!!

***
ciao for now!!!

is it full moon??

2007-10-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

..what happens to me when i am alone and bored?!

hmmm??

..i go crazy...haha!

..it is still hours before midnight..and full moon is not happening anytime soon but, that does not stop me from doing what i do best..being coo-coo crazy!!

..iba talaga effect ng nagiisa..haha!nakakawindang..

huhuhu!

2007-10-08T06:20:00.000-07:00

well,well,well!i can relate to this!!!
kung nababasa mo man to, i hope this is enough to tell you how i feel....

V - I Got To Go My Own Way lyrics

I gotta say what's on my mind
Something about us
Doesn't seem right these days
Life keeps getting in the way
Whenever we try
Somehow the plan
Is always rearranged

It's so hard to say
But I've got to do what's best for me
You'll be okay

[Chorus]
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

Don't wanna leave it all behind
But I get my hopes up
And I watch them fall every time
Another color turns to gray
And it's just to hard
To watch it all
Slowly fade away

I'm leaving today
'Cause I gotta do what's best for me
You'll be okay

[Chorus]
I've got to move on and be who I am
I just don't belong here
I hope you understand
We might find a place in this world someday
But at least for now
I gotta go my own way

pajama party! part 2!!!

2007-10-03T17:09:00.000-07:00

..fun is not over yet!wahahaha!

..for us, fun never ends!!
..now, nadagdagan pa kami!!
..kasama na si rose, tanya, and, kuya charles!!!!

..the pictures says everything....

pajama party!

2007-10-01T16:27:00.000-07:00

..nang dahil sa research sa english3, eto, napilitan kaming magpuyat!
uhmm,kami lang pala nila jet and benj..c jabi nauna nang natulog.. pagod kasi..
alam mo naman ang hyperactivr na tao.whehe!

..actually, wala kameng nagawa nang dahil sa i.r. kuno na yan!si jet poh ang pasimuno..(=

..the lowdown:
si jabi natulog ng 11 pm!san ka pa!
ako...uhm...2 am na natulog!
si benj, 3 am!
at ang reyna, c jet, 6 am nag-doze off!

supposedly, papasok kame ng 7:30 pero late na kami nagising!so, tulog
ulit!

sa wednesday, ganito nanaman!!

new look..back to basic

2007-09-25T23:09:00.000-07:00

after a few years without bangs, i am back with it!!

now it's side-swept..

"ahya na may bangs" has returned!

hilo!

2007-09-25T00:24:00.000-07:00

i am at the middle of the road..
why do i have to carry so much load??
i have never felt this way
i don't like to be like this day by day

undecided--that's what i am
and i hope for just 1 second I'd be numb

i am at the middle of the road..
i am confused with all the codes
I'd like to have some help now
I'd like to move but i don't know how

i don't wanna cause pain
and i don't either want to feel the pain

i just wanna live the right way!
i just wanna walk and be okay!

i am at the middle of the road..
confused--what am i supposed to do??
my feet leads me to different paths
where am i to go??
where's the place that there's no wrath??

i am at the middle of the road...

hmm??

2007-09-19T05:30:00.000-07:00

**things bothering my mind right now..

-- my euthanasia research on english3.. tomorrow's going to be the defense and i haven't even started writing the body of my research! well, just thinking about it makes me super sleepy.. ughh! i totally dislike researches.. i do learn new things but i don't like writing about it..there is a lot in the internet already..why add more!

-- my investigative report due on friday. we watched i-witness' kidneys for sale this morning and seriously, i thought it was just for our mere information.turns out, we are supposed to take down notes because we are to do an investigative report out of the documentary..what???i was not even watching it that much..

-- ka-ching! wah na ko pera! i have like 3 coin banks at my room but it was never filled even with a peso! it was just for display i guess. =) i sure wanted to save up but at the end of the day, i am left with no money at all- i mean, at all! pera!!!

-- ANTM cycle 8! that's tomorrow!!! i just can't wait...

-- my eyebag!ughh! di padin nawawala..hai!! i have tried everything in the book just to get rid of it..no avail!!

--my laptop's battery has like 35 minutes remaining and my charger is nowhere to be found. di ko nanaman matatapos research ko!

--i forgot the password of my boyfriend's account!i have been trying every words possible for minutes now but i still can not get in! i was even the one who did the account.. memory gap!

-- i feel bad about how some of my classmates treat jayraida. i don't hold a grudge against them though but sometimes, i feel that they are going way over the line. jay does not really react maybe that's why everybody assumed that it is fine to make jokes out of her. i admit i am one of those people who laughs at her but at the end, i feel guilty. lalo na pag nakikita kong nahuhurt na siya. but i guess nothing much will change. way of life na yan. aminado ako na may mga nasabi na ako but i never meant any hurt- just plain & simple fun. kaya sorry...

-- i am processing my visa right now and it really bothers me.i do want to see my mother and other relatives there in California. i just do hope i will be granted with a visa. wish ko lang!

-- my bracket just snapped and my teeth is starting to hurt.and, i can't do anything since my next schedule for my dental check-up will be on saturday pa. i guess i have to endure the pain for the remaining days..

hai!

2007-09-18T04:58:00.000-07:00

natsci2 nanaman!--ughh!!

SCIENCE!

as a child, i have dreamt of becoming a doctor--or a nurse at least..
it started when i got admitted at the SLU Hospital when i was 10 years old. believe it or not, i got dengue-- and i survived! i had this pretty nurse and a very kind doctor who is attending to me that got me interested with curing the sick. i just find them so nice and that their work is like not that easy but they still get to smile and have fun. can you imagine always being on the rush all the time and you still have to tend to a lot more people but yet, they look so fresh and not so stressed?? i just really put them into the pedestal and i applaud them for how they are able to make the lives of other people comfortable.

so by the time i got checked out from the hospital.. all i can think about is.. " i wanna be a doctor..or a nurse!"

that kept playing on my mind over and over..

but now, i don't know what made me change my mind.. as time passed by, i outgrew my dream of becoming a doctor..

so now, i hate science for some reason!

i can't stand listening to scientific words.. even for an hour..

gulo ng utak ko noh?!

Rizal!

2007-09-17T04:58:00.000-07:00

how i wish i was in a different room...
Honestly speaking, i hate my Rizal class
aside from the "patay na binubuhay pa " topic, and the oh-so dull, lifeless room, my classmates have lives of their own!

tanya and nikki are the only people i know and can talk to..
ngayon isa nalang..nikki disappeared!

i enjoyed my History class-- even got a 99! but with this class, i sure as hell wanted to drop!

i love to love the topic..i just don't love the ambiance..and the people!

exclusively 4 jedda

2007-09-14T07:19:00.001-07:00

..i made this for jedda..

..actually rush lang yan..dami kasi ginagawa sa house and i am trying to change my sleeping habits.. i sleep late talaga and now, i am trying to sleep before 10 pm..

..i gave it to her kanina lang.. sana lang like niya..

..yan na yata yung pinakamabilis na nagawa ko.. 2 hours ko lang ginawa.. sorry girl.. balik mo kung ayaw mo.=)

hangover!

2007-09-11T06:43:00.000-07:00

"ma'am, you lost me at book lungs!"

heck what does book lungs mean anyway??"

as much as i wanted to internalize the topic, those scientific words just confuses me even more.
all that enters my mind is blah...blah...blah...yada...yada...yada...

how i wish its 6 pm

what time is it?
UWIAN TIME!

haha!
may hangover pa ako sa high school musical 2...
i liked part 1 better though..

**question:
"what was Kwnny Ortega thinking when he put troy bolton's solo act(the one in the golf field) into the final cut?!" --"duh, is troy like..uhh..gay??"

**another thing about HSM:
well, almost everyone in the entire world has seen vanessa hudgen' nude pics. she admitted that it was really her.too bad!you know what, that got me thinking.."will she be the next la lohan??"

well, i hope not.. sayang ang career! ha ha! i just don't get the whole nude thing.. andami niyang damit pero di naman niya sinusuot.hay naku, kung ako lang may ganong damit, ipangtutulog ko pa!

girl, wake up before everything's too late!don't be one of those stupid girls that Pink is singing about..

09.08.07

2007-09-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

all these pictures was taken at our Star Awards Night..
i know all my friends and classmates are expecting to see these...

chandelier

2007-09-04T04:06:00.000-07:00

i found this chandelier earring set at porta vaga last week. i bought it and tried to make my very own earring.

i did it!

well, it was a little bit crappy but i am glad...

i finally did something on my own and with my own creativity!

i did not ask for anybody's idea and nobody helped me...

i am just so happy!(=

puppies!

2007-08-27T17:53:00.000-07:00

i just want to show you zashie and bogart.magkapatid sila.
super cute nila noh.
well, medyo malaki na sila ngayon.
dapat, half owner ako ni zashie. but i don't have the money to pay her yet kaya di ko alam kung sakin pa ba siya. hehe!

happy!

2007-08-27T17:38:00.000-07:00

it is my mom's birthday yesterday.. and so is my brother's.(coincidence??)
grabe, sabay talaga sila ng birthday. galing noh?
mom did not celebrate her birthday though. we just cooked spaghetti and fried chicken--that's it. wala nga siya bisita eh. except for my lola and cousins who so happened to come here in Baguio--but not coz of my mom's birthday. it just happened that they arrived the day of my mom's birthday--coincidence again!=)

but my brother celebrated his birthday-but not with us...with his friends. since sunday, i haven't seen him yet. madami kasi siya pera kaya di siya umuuwi. he doesn't need us this time. pag naubos pera niya uuwi yun. ganun talaga...

i wanted to celebrate mom's birthday kasi baka ito na yung last birthday niya na nandito pa ako sa philippines. pag na-approve kasi yung visa ko, i don't know when i'll be coming back again. she doesn't want to go to the US kasi- she's staying here. yun nga lang, walang celebration na nagyare. but i still made sure naman that she was happy yesterday.

mama & tyron,
happy birthday!!!!(belated pala!)

babbles

2007-08-21T01:50:00.000-07:00

*RANTS*

***
" DO YOU WANT TO PASS MY SUBJECT? THEN COME TO MY CLASS!"

-around 3 pm, my confidence totally shrinked...
was that a slap on my face??

just at the entrance of the FGB foodcourt, just beside the long line of students waiting for their turn at the elevator, her voice echoed not only in my ears but also to the bystanders around.

it is already 4:55 pm and i still can't remove in my mind those words-- that short statement that made me want to fade away.
that moment, i sure wanted to trade places with a ghost--not seen, but present.

did a deserve that??-- yes & NO!

i did missed 2 days of her class but that was totally the wrong thing at the wrong moment! she could have just said that to me when no one is around..

i sure as hell wanted to trash talk her but would i stoop down to that level just to redeem myself? not really. i may as well just come to her class--do good--the way she wanted it.

***
every tuesdays and thursdays, 9 - 3 pm is my vacant hours. i just bought the Ghost Whisperer season 2 dvd so i watched it but i was only able to watch like 4 episodes only.

-i feel bad...
don't you hate it when you're really into a certain thing and not be able to know the end??it is so frustrating turning off the tv just when the story is starting to be interesting and intriguing.

-up to now, i am still left with a lot of questions. what would happen next?... yada yada...

-i thought that the 6 hours would be long enough- i guess not.
now i believe in what most people say.. "Time goes fast."

***
i am dead sleepy! i slept at around 2 am and woke up at 6 am--4 hours of sleep!

-it wasn't enough!

-i think i'm insomniac!
i have always been ranting about this because i do want to sleep but something is always keeping me awake.i can't seem to feel sleepy.

my biological clock might not be working.
can i get a technician here!

*RAVES*

***
i only saw 1 korean today..
hmm...that's odd!

coming from a city--a university-- swarming with koreans, it is really unusual to only see one in a day.

most of the time, i see a lot!

i even count every one that passes me by-i am a human counter!(=
well, it keeps me awake when my instructor starts to talk to the blackboard and when i get stucked at traffic.

there will always be tomorrow.

***
one thing managed to totally get me bundles of laugh today.

there is this one instructor of mine ( name not to be mentioned- my grades is at stake!) who i believe is a little touched( mentally).

the blackboard in our classroom was covered in cloth since it is newly painted. when my instructor arrived and saw it, he asked us to turn our seats and face the wall at the back of the room.
then, she took a pentel pen and started writing on the wall.

i was shocked!

how could she think of doing that??

after a while, i just laughed- and laughed-and laughed!

***
why do we have to study our internal organs- liver, pancreas, and all??
what's the point?? we are not going to use it in the future.

why do we have to study dead people??...they're dead!
think about it, aren't those people we are talking about get bothered- whatever happened to eternal peace?? how will their souls rest in peace??

-i actually know the reasons, i just don't get the point...

hayzzz!

2007-08-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

quiz na muna

2007-08-17T04:56:00.000-07:00

..eto nanaman ang isa pang q & a..=)

1.Where have you been an hour ago?
-- house nila jeco

2. State your name?
-- Ahya =)

3. Do you like your name?
-- yup! di gaano common eh

4. Can you remember what you did on
the first day of your school?
-- the usual stuffs

5. What do you want to be ten years
from now?
-- a journalist

6. What do u feel upon receiving
emails?
-- wala lang..

7. At what age you first learned to
use a pc? -
-- 9 years old..i took a summer class

8. Have you ever eaten any exotic
food?
-- nope!

9. What was the last illness that you
had?
--asthma...last week lang

10. Do you like listening to rap
music?
-- sometimes

11. What song got you L.S.S.?
--big girls don't cry(fergie)

12. What did you do last 1st November
2006?
--zzzzzzzzzzzz!

13. When was the last time you dance?
-- kaninang lunch! we were imitating the famous ah doo doo doo! ha ha!

14. When was the last time you browsed
the bible?
-- i don't remember( sorry!)

15. when was the last time you went to
starbucks?
--never did- not interested

16. What is the brand of your first
wristwatch?
-- baby G

17. Look at your back. what did you
see?
-- framed picture of a woman in blue

18. Say something about the person
whom u like..
-- greatestperson ever

19. does he/she likes you back?
-- yup!

20. What did you have for breakfast
today?
-- macaroni soup(yum!)

21. Your last dream that you
remembered?
-- i sually forget my dreams by the time i wake up..ha ha!

22. What do you usually say when you
meet a person?
-- hi!-ano pa nga ba..

23. Do you agree on the saying "to
forgive is to forget?"
-- no

24. Last thing you held before using
the computer?
-- sampaloc.. =)

25. Where is the place you always
dreamed of?
-- paiba-iba

26. When was the last time your tears
fell?
-- kanina lang..i had a nap awhile ago and jeco woke me up so i got cranky and just cried.. ha ha! babaw ko talaga!

27. What are you watching right now?
--12 monkeys(bruce willis & brad pitt)

28. At what age are you ready to get
married?
-- 26!

29. Long hair or short?
-- long

30. First person to run to if you are
depressed?
-- jeco

31. Whats the last movie you watched?
-- fantastic four:rise of the silversurfer

32. Were you attracted to a person
ten years older than you?
-- not yet

33. Are you happy at this point of
your life?
-- somehow

34. Are you in love now?
-- yup =)

35. With whom?
-- jeco!

36. If you could have one wish right
now, what would it be?
-- to be invisible

37. By the end of the day, what do
you say to yourself?
-- good night!-then i smile!

babbles

2007-08-16T11:18:00.000-07:00

***
it is already 20 minutes past 2 in the morning and i still could not sleep. these past few days, i have been having troubles dozing off. i lie down at around 9 pm but i end up STILL awake at around 12 am. maybe there's something wrong with me. or i am just too preoccupied with a lot of things. my eyebags are becoming luggages already! i am planning to take sleeping pills but i am uncertain because i have a big problem with side effects- we just don't get along! maybe i should try reading a book before i sleep- a really boring book. =)

***
i have seen my grades already..
di ako masaya sa ibang results..
di ko maintindihan kung bakit i have a low grade on one of my major subjects eh i almost perfected naman yung exam namin and i submit naman yung mga requirements. well, yun talaga siguro..baka may personality factor pa na included- baka dun ako nagfail!=)
pero ok lang naman yung iba-just the average.

i was hoping for high grades kasi that's why i am so frustrated. i put too much pressure on myself. now, i feel bad because i did not reach the grades i wanted to have.

there's always a next time...=)

***
buti nalang sumikat na ang araw ngayon. hai naku, di ko nalang alam kung anong reaction ko pag umulan pa. buti nalang nakauwi na ako nung bumuhos uli yung ulan.

dati, malakas effect ko sa ulan-promise! pag pinagdadasal ko na di umulan, di nga umuulan(and vice versa). lagi pa nga akong sinisisi ng mga friends ko nun pagka- umuulan eh. ngayon, kahit anong dasal ko, wala lang;dedma lang. ha ha!

***

***
i am going to try my luck kung makakatulog na ba ako..=)
it's getting really late na eh..
ciao!

hollywood

2007-08-15T02:59:00.000-07:00

**Images courtesy of e! online**

As I was surfing the net, I got to the e!online website. The first thing I looked up is their image archive. I was able to see these pictures of Hollywood celebrities.
Look guys…

You be the judge!

Kate Hudson is the ultimate goddess of beauty (at least for me). No matter how her hair looks, make-up or no make-up, she still stands out and is über gorgeous! When I found out that she is the endorser of Kamiseta clothing line, I really saved some cash just so I can buy something there but it wasn’t the clothing that I want, it’s the paper bag they give because she was printed in it! I really admire her-really.

Is this really Eva Longoria?? i mean, THE EVA LONGORIA???
What happened! was she in a hurry and forgot to look in the mirror?!
This is a very good example of what make-ups can do- hide all blemishes and prettify the face just like that. Maybe she was on her way to her make-up artist when this picture was shot. Let us cut her some slack- although this picture of her is totally horrible.

Well, at least she still has that killer smile…

How can one person show off almost her entire body and gets diffident with showing her alcohol monitoring ankle bracelet?? Well, it is her fault in the first place why they put that bracelet on. Why be shy now when every person in this planet has seen how she wasted her life away?!
L.L. used to be one of the celebrities I look up to- I repeat, “I USED TO LOOK UP TO.”
Now, when I see her on television, it is always all about her wild parties, tipsy moments, and her scandals. The once loved and angelic girl grew up to be a disappointment and a total waste of time. I am sorry for saying this-I just have to. Maybe all the praise and attention people gave her got into her head and swallowed up her pride and dignity. I never thought she would be like that.
So sad….

babbles

2007-08-14T05:15:00.000-07:00

***
i got 95 at my ethics subject. woohoo!i am pretty satisfied with it. i did the best i can and it paid off. can't wait to tell my mom-she has imposed a new rule that i should show her my grades every after the exams.

***
i really hate it when i go home in a place so messy! my brother, AGAIN, invited his friends at home and they had a drinking session. problem is, they always leave the house cluttered. "guyz, this is not a bar! you can't expect other people to clean up your scraps!" instead of me resting, i end up tidying the whole house! i just hope my brother somehow develops a sense of responsibility. he's already 20 years old! he shouldn't act like an immobile person because he obviously is not!he is the eldest and the only guy here at home, yet, he acts like a bratty girl!

***
it is still raining. i thought that the sun would already shine this day. i miss the sunshine...

babbles

2007-08-11T23:36:00.001-07:00

journalism era...
ma'am Solar asked us to make a timeline about the journalism era in Europe. that time, i was the only one who attended class in our group. i was the only one who knows what to do, i told nicky about the take home exam and she agreed on doing some of the parts needed to be done. the thing is, i don't have any idea how to contact reuben, kristian, and my other groupmate whose name is still unknown to me. i am planning to just not tell ma'am Solar that they did not help but i am bothered because ma'am Solar might ask them and they will not know what to answer. i don't want them to blame me. i am not being selfish, God knows i tried looking for them, but i wasn't lucky. for now, i am just going to finish the timeline and maybe tomorrow, i will just go to school early so that i can tell them about it. maybe things will work out fine tomorrow...

skinny jeans...
is it still in??or not??
i have always wanted to wear one but everytime i watch E! News and the D10, they always say it is outdated already and loose pants or what we called the elephant pants are the next big thing in fashion. i am confused because everytime i go out, half of the people i pass by are wearing skinny jeans!i really don't know if i should wear one or not so i asked the advice of my friends and they said that i shouldn't depend on what's the latest fashion-if it looks good on me, why not?.and they are right! why should i frustrate myself over that petty thing?if i want to wear one, nobody can't stop me.
so, i bought my very first skinny jeans!ha ha! if you could have only seen the look on my face upon seeing myself in the mirror wearing it, i was really happy. for the first time, i didn't care about what's in..i just cared about what's going to make me happy.

mom cares...
my mother in california called this morning and she found out that i am sick. her voice sounded really worried and she kept telling me to go to the doctor to have a check-up. that time, the only thought going through my mind is that 'my mom cares.' she has been away for like my entire life and hearing her being worried and caring for me made me glad that i am sick because if not, i wouldn't know she cares. i can't explain the joy i felt-i almost cried. i thought that the distance changed everything including the way she feels about me-i was wrong. that moment brought back the faith in me that 'not everybody that leaves forgets the one they left behind'- they are just physically away.

www.ubaguio.edu

2007-08-11T23:36:00.000-07:00

..i am trying to open my grades on the website of our college and i just can't seem to open it. it keeps saying 'error:page not found!' i have been itching to know my grades since last monday but classes have been postponed so i thought i can just check it online-but i can't! my friend, benjie, had seen his grades online already so what's wrong?? i even tried the via SMS grades but to no avail!
please.. i really want to know how i did for the first grading examination!

hai!

2007-08-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

..i am sick!
just woke up with this very aching head..
for the past two days, i have been had clogged nose fo some reason i do not exactly know. i am not eating or drinking cold stuffs so i am really wondering how i got sick.

then it hit me..

i totally forgot that kimberly was sick and i have been playing with her for the past days. now i know that i got it from her. i am always telling her to cover her mouth everytime she coughs or sneezes but she won't listen.-what can i do, she's a 4 year-old brat! she does not listen to anyone. i don't blame her though, i still chose to come near her so i am pretty responsible for getting sick.

good thing today is saturday and i do not really go out on weekends. i can rest myself in preparation for monday. i have to be okay by monday- i want to go to my classes.

i am just going to have a dvd marathon. i borrowed ate jeva's Ghost Whisperer dvd and i suppose that's what i can do for now. i don't want to force myself to do chores and all.

Ghost Whisperer is a really good show. i am nuts over paranormal things, you know. likey-likey!

hai!here comes another sneeze!

got to rest...and watch while resting!

ciao!

it's me!

2007-08-09T00:59:00.000-07:00

here's pictures of me...
taken from my camera phone..

pool party

2007-08-09T00:53:00.000-07:00

these pictures was taken at st. elizabeth resort. the place was nice-it has slides and all but the only slip-up is the super cold water. we were like freezing to death. if i only knew, i should have worn a sweater. ha ha! but kath still enjoyed the place. she paid no heed to the cold water. go girl!

2007-08-08T23:26:00.000-07:00

It’s raining...
Slip-up is, it's boring me to death! The cable is not so good. Everyone is sleeping... yada-yada..
Before I fall asleep, I might as well take this quiz...
Here goes...

01. single, taken, or crushing?
-taken

02. are you happy with your life now?
-not really

03. when you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him first?
-of course

04. have you ever had your heart broken?
-yup

05. do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
-definitely no

06. would you take someone back if he cheats on you?
-it depends on who he hooked-up with and why he did it

07. have you talked about marriage with another before?
-yup

08. do you want children?
-of course

09. how many children would you want to have?
-two would be fine

10. would you consider adoption?
-yeah

11. if someone likes you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know about his feelings?
-tell me straight-up

12. do you enjoy getting to a relationship?
-why not?

13. do you believe in love at first sight?
-not really

14. do you believe that love will always find a way?
-YES

tweety

2007-08-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

rain

2007-08-08T04:54:00.001-07:00

and it is raining..

after all the wishes and prayers and cloud seedings, heaven finally streamed us with its rainwater. the once dreaded downfall has become a source of delight for most people. people were ecstatic about the rain-i was one of them. it has been hot and dry lately and the rainfall finally hydrated the almost arid regions of our country.

do not be dismayed because..

crops will finally grow..
due to the late arrival of rain, people got bothered about the harvests of crops like rice grains and other agricultural products. think about it- if it didn't rain, crops will not grow better because the sun is drying it all up-no harvest means no food. do you want that to happen??

temperature will be regulated..
well, it is so obvious that it is relatively hot these days. the sun just keeps on gleaming its rays on us directly-it does not only dry up our skins guys, the entire ecosystem also suffers.

no rain=more cash is demanded..
aside from the stench we all get from the heat, we also pay more! why? well, we buy moisturizers for our skin do avoid breakouts, we buy more water than what we usually buy, food gets more expensive due to lack of production, and all others.

we can finally soak ourselves..
every once in a while, try to just forget your umbrellas and enjoy the rain falling on you. try it- it's fun! forget about all your worries. sing in the rain-nobody will hear you; dance in the rain-nobody will care;just let go of all your depressions and let the rain drain it off your body.

uniform

2007-08-06T04:31:00.000-07:00

i wore my uniform today and unlike the first time i wore it, i do not feel awkward anymore. i brought my uniform to a sewer and she fixed it the way i want it so now, i am comfortable wearing my uniform-not too loose, not too long. just right! now, i find it somewhat good and pleasing to wear. it is not that bad any more. but still, i haven't tried to wear the coat because i walk up to the fifth floor everyday and it is pretty hot these days-i don't want to sweat my clothes.

babbles

2007-08-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

***
so boring!super! everyone here at home is already asleep. i am left alone...again! worse is there is nothing good to watch on tv.

***
i opened www.paulescobar.multiply.com and it was basically the site of the photos of mr. and ms UB 2007. they all are pretty and handsome. i just hope they have the brains to match.

***
i am trying to stay awake til 2 am just to watch veronica mars on etc. i wasn't able to watch the rerun awhile ago so i am just going to watch it later. i am a die hard fan-seriously!i have dreams of becoming a detective(i wish!) and veronica is just so good at it!

***
i just downloaded 'over it' by katharine mcphee. weepee! finally! i have been browsing the net for the song for the past few days. i finally found the free and complete edition. you know, i am like tyra banks, the queen of cheap! ha ha! why spend when you can get it for free??

***
kim possible's new season is way better! she and ron finally hooked up! i was expecting that since the first season. plus her gadgets and car-so nice!

***
mom and tyron are going to manila tomorrow for tyron's medical check-up. he needs it for his visa application. i need it too but i can't come since i still have an exam on monday. too bad i can't come.

country issues

2007-08-03T01:56:00.000-07:00

i was supposed to go to the commission on elections office this morning to register for my voter's i.d. but i did not go since my mom informed me that the COMELEC officials will only attend to those people who have reservations-for short, those who have been waiting in line everyday. i was upset because i really want to register and today we do not even have class just so we can register. i know that those people who have been there everyday deserves to be attended but what about those who has no time to go there and wait in line for hours. and COMELEC is not really that quick in attending to the people's needs. they still do things manually making it longer and a waste of time. that's one reason why our country's not progressing. there is no order in things and it is always a 'first come first serve" basis. i hope that the president would address this issue immediately. it has always been an unfair treatment for the citizens. the president has given 7 SONA's already but where is the progress?where is the change? whatever happened to her projects that she promised to do to help uplift our country? is it all just words??

on school issues..

2007-08-02T03:14:00.000-07:00

rude much!

2007-08-02T02:41:00.000-07:00

after my philosophy exam this morning, i went to jeco's house. there jeep has a 15 minutes waiting period so i just waited at the jeep. it was only me and a woman when i got in. the woman was talking to someone on her phone and she kind of talks loudly. at first, i wasn't really irritated but as time passes by, her voice keeps escalating. to make things worse, she even put it in loudspeaker so the noise was doubled. after a few minutes, people started coming in and obviously, they are irritated too due to the woman's behavior but we just kept quiet. when the jeep started to move, the driver turned the radio on so we were glad to hear nice music aside from her super annoying voice. but a few seconds later, the woman started complaining that the driver's music is so loud. as she stated,"ano ba tong driver na to. napaka nonsense niya.alam na ngang may kausap ako tapos ang ingay pa niya.walang pakisama naman!" when she said that, everyone in the jeep gave her a mean look. hello?! she is the one who is super noisy and not cooperating and she has the nerve to complain. can't she hear herself?! she is the rudest person i ever encountered. she has been way over the line the whole time and our rights of silence has been violated and we did not complain at all. i thought to myself, why are there people that is just so insensitive of other people but so sensitive about themselves. she just ruined my day. i just hope she would not encounter someone who is going to humiliate her for her bad behavior.but on second thought, why not?! she deserves it!

babbles

2007-08-01T03:03:00.000-07:00

***
i had my natsci1 exam today and i have to admit, i had a pretty hard time answering it. all the questions are basically from the manual which i read a couple of times but i got confused with all the names included. but i still feel that i can pass the subject since i answered some of the questions surely.

***
i watched Blades of Glory before my exam. it was hilarious. Will Ferrell and Jon Heder makes a good team. i really enjoyed the scene where they skated together for the first time because their positions/choreographs are really funny.

***
me and jeco started to save 50 pesos everyday. so far, we earned 500 pesos. yesterday, when i was about to put the daily 50 pesos savings, i was surprised to see that my coin bank only contains 450 pesos. supposedly, it should be 500 pesos already. i don't know if i should be glad that it was only 50 pesos that was gone or i should get mad that i lost money. in the end, i just laughed because whoever took it, is really stupid.why take 50 pesos and leave the remaining 450 pesos when you can take all??but still, thank you for not taking it all!

***
i am beginning to get annoyed with kimberly.since they lived here at home, noise is all over. i can not even get a minute of silence and she is hyperactive-super!sometimes i want to spank her just so she would shut up but i can't since she is not my relative. she whines and cries and shouts and just does annoying things!

babbles

2007-07-30T03:44:00.000-07:00

***
i wore my uniform this morning. i spent like an hour in front of the mirror trying to believe i was actually wearing it. it is not that bad but the tailor made it too loose and too long so i got more uncomfortable. i brought extra clothes at school so right after my class, i immediately went to the restroom and changed. i just do not want to walk around wearing the uniform. i am sorry to say but it is just not my choice of clothing.
***
at jeco's house, we decided to watch The Storm breaker(Alex Rider) but since it is raining heavily, i fell asleep.ha ha! i watched only the first five minutes of the movie and then i went to slumber. by the time i woke up, i was able to watch the closing credits.ha ha! sleepy head!
***
at my MASSCOMM2 subject, which is a major subject, Sir Liwanag asked us to write a summery lead of a certain incident. i tried to write the lead as good as i can do. when we all submitted our pieces, Sir Liwanag pointed out that he will separate the trash leads from the salvageable leads. guess what??mine got into the TRASH! ha ha! super embarrassing. after all my efforts in writing it, it still is a trash. i do not feel bad anyway because sir said that all journalists get their pieces rejected at first. practice is all i need.
***
when i got home, kimberly and ate amy was at the living room. they both were sleeping so i just kept quiet. when they woke up, we just had a little chat and then we did our own businesses. the other hand,kimberly, out of the silence in the four walls, started to fart continuously. it was really hilarious. she herself could not stop laughing. good thing it was not a stinker!

babbles

2007-07-29T04:12:00.000-07:00

***

me and kairah:

kai:ate..

me:bakit?

k:ano kaya itatawag ko sa pinakasalan ni mommy.tito o papa?

m:ewan ko sayo.ano ba gusto mo?

k:di ko alam.

(any name would be alright ading)

***

kimberly:you're WATHING but a second DATE trying hard PUSA

(ha ha!you would really die out of laughter if you heard her say it)

***

kath:uhm bez, i guess you have proven so many things to me.we have undergone lots of things and circumstances. but one big fight led us to such as this.i always want you to be a part of my life.i want to share so much laughter with you.i want you to know all my ups and downs, my joys and sorrows...everything..i mean just everything about me..without a single lie. you have known me for so long and i never hesitated to show you the real me.during our struggles BEFORE,we are always there for each other, but NOW look at us.did you bother to reminisce what our situation have gone?to tell you the truth i feel pain and i miss you a lot.but i think things would never be the same again.so starting now, i am layinf off your life and i hope you'll find a true friend better than me.a million thanks would be enough to show my gratitude to you.it doesn't end here.i know that someday time would bring it all back together.enjoy your life now.a life without me.

(this was actually her message for me.i have read it like a couple of time and i am trying to understand what it is i did. but bez, i am sorry!)

***
ate phau & her korean student:
ate: why are you late?did you run or did you walk?
korean: did you run ma'am.
(ah okay!i get it.well, he is still learning english.that is forgivable.)

2007-07-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

on what i can do for the country...
me and my mom went to the commission on elections office this morning to register for the upcoming SK/barangay elections. my mom just found out about the registration last night so we immediately went this morning since it is the last day of the reservation for the registration.by the time we arrived at around 11:30, there was already a very long line.but still, we stayed since it is the last day for me to be able to contribute something for the country.i want my voice to be heard. i want that whoever is elected, should be the deserving one.not like the past elections. i am at the right age to help.so i will!

my field of interest...
with the long line in the comelec,we already expected reporters to be present. well, it is their job in the first place-to be at any events at all times..to be enterprising.while i was waiting for my turn, a reporter from ABS-CBN came and started his beat. it was really nice to see someone do it right in front of you.being a mass communications student, i was fascinated by how the reporter did it.except for those takes and mistakes he did, i still was glad to see someone in action.someday, i will do that too.someday!

feeling down...
i am sick!i do not know what triggered my asthma!i am not eating junk food that much and i do not drink cold beverages or even go near someone who is smoking so why am i having an asthma attack??i fell very heavy right now.i can not breath well, i keep on coughing, and i can
not sleep well either.i just hope i get better tomorrow. i don't want to be sick at the first day of class.

money transfer control number...
i still have not gotten the money my mother at the US sent me.they say the money transfer control number was wrong.we kept on verifying it a couple of times and still, no money!what am i supposed to do??i need that money right now.i have to pay for my tuition, ortho treatment, and my visa application.help!

2007-07-21T03:40:00.000-07:00

..taken from my phone.thanks to the genius mind of those people who invented camera phones!i like this pic partly-just partly.i don't know.there's something wrong with it.maybe my eyebag.ha ha! or my braces??dunno!

rise from your graveyard

2007-07-21T03:24:00.000-07:00

thursday...
we went to the cadaver room at our school.i don't know what got in my head that i said yes to going there.i am not scared but thinking about a room with dead people is just so unnatural. when i got inside, the dead people are covered in cloth so it was like the great revealing!i was excited yet freaked out that i may faint(which i didn't-thank God!).when they removed the sheets, all i felt was pity.i don't know. they just look terrible. and for the information, i did not touch any of the 6 bodies.well, isn't it too much and bad enough that they did not get a burial they deserve.a little respect is all i can ever give.and what would you fell if somebody explores your internal organs and can not put it back in its right place??so not good. the moment i left the room, i prayed for their souls.they were victims-rape, polio disease, drowned and all sorts. i felt really bad.

this day

2007-07-18T04:50:00.000-07:00

i am trying to customize my blog but i can not seem to do it. i am lost talaga. i understand the classic blog better than this new one. wish ko lang sana na mas ma-manage ko ang layout ko nang mas madali.no hustles.hirap kasi eh.pero hindi naman ako sumusuko.i will still try to do it as long as may internet card pa kami.

school issues..
i have this classmate na super sa pagkaqueenbee.kainis talaga. well hindi lang naman siya isang tao.they are a clique in our class.they sort of bully others because they think that they are the greatest creation of God.hello?!rude much!super eksena sila all the time to the point na nakakairita talaga at nakakaistorbo sa iba.i am not envious hah.i am just really irritated.

mom issue...
i went to western union awhile ago to get the money my mom sent.hindi ko nakuha.super expect pa naman ako.syempre pera yun.ka-ching!tomorrow maybe i can get it already.hopefully.out of cash na kami here at home eh.

friends

2007-07-17T04:17:00.000-07:00

friends are those people you can be goofy with...
friends are those people you can rely on...
friends are those people you can confide with...
friends are those people you can cry on...

they are those people who'll be with you when you are down
they are those people who'll make you smile when you frown
they are those people who'll help you on all sorta stuffs
they are those people who'll accompany u when you are in pain or when you laugh

people u can't find as easy as that
people u can't replace a easy as that
people who can stay forever
people who, no matter what, will always be there...

2007-07-17T03:36:00.000-07:00

on the school issues...

well, i had the results of my philosophy and biological science examination. ang masasabi ko lang, i am pretty damn satisfied..masaya talaga ako.sa philosophy exam ko, i got 398 out of 400 and sa biological science, 44 out of 50.so yun, super happy talaga kasi yung pagpupuyat ko sa pagrereview eh talagang nag pay-off.ayos na yun sakin.at least may grade akong ihaharap sa mama ko.pati nakakaencourage kasi yung thought na kaya ko pala magexcel sa academics.

on the friendship issue...
i have not seen my bestfriend, si kath, for two weeks na yata. eh yun, i must admit, even though we had a really bad fight, i miss her..really.nagtitipid kasi ako kaya hindi ako nagloload di ko tuloy siya natetext.maski si jean, di ko na din natetext.guilty tuloy ako kasi jean always texts me with a sad face or a crying face tapos di ko man lang siya mareplyan.bad friend ba ako??

on the home issue...
i have beeen bugging my mom at california since May to send me money for my tuition and all.by all i mean my daily allowance, my pang-gala, and my shopping thingy. but, she did not send me money so i did not call her.the last call we had was like last month pa.eh yun, di ko alam, she has been calling me pala to tell me that she sent money last month pa.dahil sa kadramahan ko, di ko nalaman agad.buti nalang pala, i did not send her the letter i made which has a part like this.."nakalimutan mo na talaga na may anak ka pa dito.minsan lang naman ako humingi sayo pro kung ayaw mo talaga, di naman kita pipilitin eh." ha ha! buti nalang talaga di ko sinend kasi kung hindi, super pahiya siguro ako and super tawa mama ko.talk about being melodramatic.

on the lighter side...
all i can say for this day is, sana natulog nalang ako buong araw. i went to my regular classes, but a lot of my classmates did not attend our classes.and so is one of my instructors.then, some of my close classmates are pretty tired too so boring talaga.yun lang yun-boring!

school time

2007-07-16T00:18:00.000-07:00

our exam had just ended last friday and i am pretty glad with it because it was not that hard. i thought it wouldbe hard since all the topics our instructors discussed are totally confusing. thank God they cut us some slack and made the exam easy. i am going to see the results tomorrow. i am excited and nervous at the same time. it may be easy but what if i did not get it correct. i will find out tomorrow.

it is holiday today-in short-no classes.
tomorrow's going to be the first class day of the week. i can not wait to attend classes again.see my friends, my classmates, my frenemies, my grades, and my instructors. i enjoy going to classes...really.maybe because here at home, i do not have much to do but sleep and eat. in school, i learn(seriously) and i have fun at the same time.

it was just right that i shifted from computer engineering to mass communication because if i did continue my former course, i would definitely be at lost right now from the lectures to the uniform(i hated it so much-talk about sailor's uniform?!).but now, i am having a great time with the lectures, the people, and the whole media exposure thingy.love it, love it!but still, i can not get away from a bad uniform!well, it is like what our instructors wear-except for the color..ours is beige.good thing we only wear it twice a week.mondays to tuesdays(talk about a bad impression for the start of the week).but that's still a good deal,right? rather that wear it everyday.i'll sacrifice.i can.i will.

people say i shifted because i can not handle the whole engineering thing but that's not really the case. i just wanted to pursue mass communication because, in the first place, it really is my passion. and i wanted to graduate from something that i am good at and i am going to do for my entire life with fulfillment and bliss.engineering is not bad.it's just not my thing.

all i know is that right now, i am enjoying what i do.interviews, write-ups, articles, and all that.
i just love it.just like that...

2007-07-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

this was taken over the summer. i was really dark due to over soaking under the sun.ha ha! now i am paying the price. until now, i still am way over tanned!maybe i will try some whitening products though i
am not into those stuffs. i am proud of my complexion.at least i don't look
dull.

id, ego, and, super ego

2007-07-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

awhile ago, before my natural science examination, i and my friends were waiting outside our classroom.we were not aware that there is an examination going on inside one of the classrooms so we thought it would be okay if we chat for awhile just outside the room.but then, we started to have a real good time.we were giggling and laughing out loud.after some time, the instructor inside the room came out and started reprimanding us. we just kept quiet because we know we were wrong but then, all of a sudden, he called me and three of my friends inside and talked to us.he asked us what school we were from, we answered politely but he then discriminated our school. he said that whatever kind of school we were from, we should not bring it in college. we were really embarrassed.to add more humiliation, when we got out of the room, he followed us and said out loud in front of a lot of students that we are going to meet him by 6:30 pm to discuss our misbehavior.so we went at that time. by that time, we talked at the faculty office(humiliation!).again, he reprimanded us and started bashing us about our behavior.he even listed our name under a certain 'misbehavior list' just like a blotter list in a police station. and again, we were so embarrassed!

the id in me feels so bad and totally humiliated about the incident. i wanted to call my mom and call for reinforcement.haha! it is like i want to go ballistic and have tantrums right then and there.but, obviously, i can't!

the ego in me wanted to trash talk him too because he went way over the line. it's not like we killed someone!we just had fun! maybe telling us to shhh would be enough but no!he still humiliated us and placed us in a freaking list.well yeah he is a higher person but he can't just reprimand us for just a very simple reason. and, in public?? hello! respect!

lastly, the super ego in me makes me think twice of bashing him back because i know deep in my heart that it is our fault in the first place why he went mad at us. i kind of understand where he is coming from but my ego just won't give in. i respect his authority totally and i like want to just let go of that issue and go on with my life. it is our fault, i do not and can't deny it. he had his faults too but we started it.

now, i am more on my super ego. i kind of just let it go. maybe one day, i will see him again along the corridors in the school campus and i can have the heart to greet him with a sincere smile. i am not mad at him anymore.i understand him more now. maybe he overdid it but it already happened. there is nothing i can do to take it back but to change how i act in public.

this is one experience i will never forget.really.

Way Back Into Love (full version)

2007-07-10T07:48:00.001-07:00

the song is super nice!it is a slideshow of scenes from the movie.for those who haven't watched it yet, i am telling you, you can not miss it.so good!

words i live by

2007-07-10T07:28:00.000-07:00

i....fat!

2007-07-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

..i am pretty down right now.i am going straight to the point.i am getting fatter by the minute.i do not deny it because everytime i see myself in the mirror, i see a fat girl and it does not look really good.i know that other people may say that i am just vain and overly self-conscious but i can't stop myself from thinking and feeling that i am getting big.i really don't want to be big.nobody does.last summer, i was confident in wearing m,y racer backs and sleeveless clothes but now, i always cover myself up.i do not feel confident anymore.all the people i know tells me that 'hey, you're getting fat!,' instead of saying 'hi, how are you.'i just laugh it off in front of them but deep down, i feel so terrible because i know that it is my fault that i am becoming like this. i can't help eating and sleeping most especially that i did not take summer classes so i was like stucked at home doing nothing but sleep and eat.now, i am paying the price.
weeks ago, i started doing crunches thrice a week and i kept on measuring my waistline.though i know it is really bad to live by the measurements, i still feel it in me that i have to know if my weight changed or not.i really have to lose some weight.
it is not just a matter of the numbers...for me, it is the confidence that i lost that matters.i want to be able to face other people without me being awkward all the time.i want to wear clothes i like to wear without any constrictions.i like to be greeted by people with hello.i like to stand and walk with my chin up.i want to be pleased with myself once again....

alone time

2007-07-08T03:08:00.000-07:00

as always, i am alone again here at home..well, i do not really go out that much anymore unlike my brother who happens to be my complete opposite.i guess i just got fed up walking around places i saw a thousand times plus it is raining all the time so it will just kill the fun.i don't feel bad anyway.i kind of like the solitude because it makes me think things deeper and i get to rest from the hustle and bustle outside.plus, i am able to review for my upcoming preliminary examination.well, i really have to do good this time on my studies since i promised my mother that i will have good grades and it is not much for her to ask me that because it is the only way i can show her that i have changed and i am taking things seriously this time unlike before that i take everything for granted including her.i promised to myself that i will really do good this time..i have to..not only for me..

music & lyrics

2007-07-06T22:21:00.000-07:00

i watched the movie recently and it was pretty great. most especially the songs.they are so catchy.i got so fixated with the song ‘way back into love.’ the lyrics is so good and the melody(most sepecially the piano part) really made it fantastic. although the hugh-drew match-up is a little odd, somehow, they pulled it off still. they were really great in their roles and who would have thought that they can sing??i had doubts then but after hearing their voices, i stand corrected.they are good.hugh was surprisingly a good singer..and a dancer too.nice!after i saw the movie, the song got stucked on my head and i kept singing it over and over again.i also found myself looking up through the internet on the lyrics and download of the songs.it was preety weird because i was really never that fixated with soundtracks of movies but this one really changed me..well, i just have to admit, all in all, it is just really catchy and good!

2007-06-30T06:45:00.000-07:00

watching PBB big night
being mesmerized by toni gonzaga’s charm!haha!
criticizing their intermission number..hello?!what year are we now??!so not cool
excited to see people’s reaction when wendy comes out
wishing i have good voice like toni..hah!you wish!
super hoping wendy doesn’t win..oh come on guys!
telling my mom over and over again who the housemates are
saicy is wearing red again!change outfit naman dyan..
being distracted by the show
going to continue this some other timei am gonna watch first,okay?
see yah around!

big night

2007-06-29T22:35:00.000-07:00

tonight’s the night!
since season 1, i have been watching PBB. i just love the fact that it is purely unscripted unlike any other shows. well of course, we all have our own bets for the big winner..mine is gee ann.she is the only one in the house who changed for the better.you guys know what i mean, the minute she came in the house, it is already obvious that she is a timid, passive and unconfident girl.
for the days that she has been staying in the house, she did transformed very well. it does not matter if she is somewhat sensitive, she still did prove not only to herself but also to the nation that she has a say and a worth in everything.

she may win, she may not, but she’s still the BIG WINNER for me….

week's wrap up

2007-06-28T23:09:00.000-07:00

1. don’t matter by Akon.i had a LSS the whole week
2. one tree hill:what’s gonna happen to lucas scott?i can not wait to see the next episode.seems like chase and brooke are having a second chance.hmmm??
3. veronica mars:when are they going to get back together?or are they??
4. had fun at school..had new friends..nice!
5. i did good too with my quizzes..not so bad for a shifter..
6. ANTM:too bad Megan was sent home..likey-likey!
7. had our department orientation.sorry to say,it is super boring and unorganized.
8. i had to rush all my homeworks this week coz i kept on delaying doing it.but it’s all good!
9. stayed up late since monday.i am trying to break my terrible sleeping habit..still trying!
10. i was not able to stroll around.too busy…

my day!

2007-06-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

i almost forgot, before i logout, just so i have a record of this day to remind me…

drum rolls please…

it is monthsary day!woohoo!passed another month of dread and bliss..june 21,2007!wipeee!though we did not celebrated it this time, i still am glad that we are still going fine..just the way i wanted it…a few bumps on the road though..but we were able to come through..thank God!i would have felt terrible if we did not get pass this day together..hmm, this got me thinking…will there be a next monthsary ahead for us???

we’ll see…

right now..

2007-06-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

i am wearing a white tank top covered with a tiny,red bolero
going through my posts with fellow teentalkers at candymag.com.
waiting for the dreadful rain to stop
listening to pussycat dolls’ “dont cha”(correct my spelling if i am wrong guys)
snooping at my seatmate’s blog entry (you naughty girl!)
thinking of what to write next
logged out from friendster
doing a good deed for my friend..or so i thought..wait til she hears about what i did!it is not a bad thing,like i said, a good deed..i just happen to not ask for her consent..she will be surprised..
trying to not think of my continuing irritation for the noisy people around..”guys, i cant hear the song anymore..hello, a little silence would be appreciated”..
finding a site that would answer my homework
thinking……..
again, thinking……..
realizing it is getting dark and i have to go home..
planning to continue my post at home with my handy laptop..
so i am gonna bid farewell..
see you people around..

kitty cat..

2007-06-20T15:57:00.000-07:00

i woke up and it was a pretty and funny thing to wake up to..as i opened my eyes, lying right next to me was my kitty.i do not know up to this moment how it managed to come to my room when my door is locked..maybe it sneeked in before i even doze off.since we took our cat in,it started to have a fascination on me.it always follows me everywhere i go.i mean,literally,everywhere.that’s why everytime i go out, i feel bad for leaving because i,too,grew fond of her.

right now,as i am doing this entry,our cat is sitting on my lap grabbing my hair as it is moving..it is funny because for less than a month that our cat is here at home, i already consider her a part of our family..looking at her, i get a smile on my face for the thought that i am the one who took care of her, played with her, and taught her to be potty trained.

i never thought that having a pet would be this good..

kaguluhan

2007-03-18T22:13:00.000-07:00

gulong- gulo na ako. eto ang problema ko..aaminin ko na sainyo..maaring isipin niyo na wierd ito at di naman talaga problema pero pinoproblema ko talaga eh...

di ko kasi alam kung anong itatawag ko..
bhes ba??o kath lang??
tingin niyo??
feeling ko kasi i don't deserve to call her bhes anymore
pero parang ang pangit din na kath lang.
ano kaya??

confused talaga ako eh....

happy!

2007-03-06T16:00:00.000-08:00

kath, happy monthsary!!

ingat kayo ni gian palagi.
take care of each other.
be there for each other.

happy!!

2007-03-03T01:21:00.000-08:00

come forth March...

march na.wala paring nagbabago. ganon padin ang sitwasyon ko.

sa bahay, di padin kami okay ni tyron.kelan nga ba kami naging okay?!tanga ko naman para umasa pang dadating yung time na bigla nalang kaming magbonding.awkward yun kung ganon.sa dami ng mga galit na naipon sa puso namin laban sa isa't isa, aasa pa ba akong mawawala nalang yun at bigla nalang namin mahalin ang isa't isa tulad ng pagmamahalan ng magkakapatid.minsan nga, sabi nung classmate ko, only child lang siya at gusto niya ng older brother..sabi ko naman sa kanya na si tyron.tignan ko lang kung di siya magsisi sa hiling niya. ako nga suko na talaga eh. ayoko na magreach out sakanya.sayang lang effort. di bale, di naman kami forever na magkasama eh. dadating din yung panahon na makakaalis ako sa bahay na to at mabubuhay nag masaya.nang wala siya!

tungkol naman sa school, eto, di na talaga ako pumasok.next semester nalang.masscomm na ko next sem.woohoo! nakakaexcite pero nakakatakot din.bagong classmates..bagong lessons..bagong instructors.pero okay lang din.yun gusto ko eh di panindigan ko.ngayon pa ba ako susuko eh nasabi ko na kay mama.syempre nagtampo siya.sayang daw yung my units na nakuha ko na.pero diba mas nakakhinayang pag tinuloy ko tapos di ko maipapasa. sa huli, umoo na din siya.mahal ako nun eh.di yun maitatanggi.

kay kath??eto, stagnant padin. asa pa kasi akong mababasa niya yung posts ko eh di naman niya alam yata na my blog ako.weird ko talaga.duwag lang ako.ayoko lang marinig o makita yung reaction niya sa mga sinabi ko kaya dito ko dinadaan.baka di ko kayanin.baka masaktan lang din ako kapag tinalikuran niya ko.eh pano kung sampalin niya ako diba??scary pa man din yun minsan. mukha lang siyang inosente pero ang totoo, palaban yun. kaya niya sarili niya.minsan nga lang, nanghihina din siya.nagiging marupok din siya.gusto ko na ngang makasama siya uli.para pag dumating yung mga panahong mahina siya, ako ang magiging lakas niya.pero di na ata niya ako kailangan ngayon.andyan naman si gian para maging lakas at sandalan niya.aanhin pa niya ako eh naging bad friend ako sakanya.sa totoo lang, miss na miss ko na siya.wala ng nagungulit.wala na yung bestfriend ko na laging nandyan sa lahat ng panahon. nawala ko siya sa kalokahan ko.kath!miss ko na ikaw.balik ka na please.....

2007-02-27T01:06:00.000-08:00

i am planning to just bury this sentiment i have been carrying since last year to the grave but i know that keeping my silence will not fix our shattered friendship.i know i have to say something.

here goes...i am so stupid to just let things be not alright between us. you are the closest person ever who i allowed to enter my real life. i like shared everything with you.all my family issues and the issues i have with myself. we have shared a lot of things from bliss to gloom, from ups to downs. we almost grew together doing almost the same things-doing the same mistakes, dealing with the same decisions but just one predicament broke our friendship and i am not proud of what i did. all the petty disagreements we never had was the biggest regret for my part. we never fought before and even though there are some things i did not approve of, i kept quiet because i do not want you to be upset.i know there are some things you too did not like about me and yet, you decided to not talk about it and that is my mistake-our mistake. all the remorse i had with you just piled up into this big cloud of detestation that made me so obnoxious and superficial. maybe that's why when i finally found the chance to let it out, i did released it. it was only too late when i got into my senses and realized i made a very huge mistake that i know for sure i will regret my whole life. kath, all has been said and done, i am deeply sorry for hurting your feelings. hurting you made me feel so bad but what made me feel terrible is knowing that i hurt my bestfriend.the person who i am supposed to be siding with, the one who i am supposed to be fighting for and loving no matter what. i felt terrible for saying those words i said against you knowing that you are not that person i am talking about.out of my hatred, i said words that are overly sensitive and totally wrong.i doubted you which i should have not done since you never doubted me at all.you believed in me through everything i did up until now and i didn't.i failed kath. i fell short and i am so guilty of what i did. all i am praying for right at this moment is that you reconsider and accept my apology. i know trust is a big hindrance for you to forgive me but i still am hoping that somehow, there is a part in your heart that still believes in me.i am really sorry.if there is someone to be blamed, blame me.i know it was my fault.i know what i did.i am sorry.

2007-02-11T23:54:00.000-08:00

i am not going to school anymore.i just pass by there from time to time. but i think i am going to stop going there for the meantime.i am going back though next semester. i just want to take some time off from going to those places me and my block mates usually hang out and also, there is this certain setback i have with that dreading UB Terminal.i now hate that place-seriously.not because of the weird people coming and going there but the reminiscences i have with that place. me, jean, and of course, bhes kath usually meet there. but now that we're not in such good terms, that place is like a graveyard-the silence, the pain, the wishful mourns and all other not so pleasant stuffs. i just can't deal with pain right now.

2007-02-06T23:51:00.000-08:00

kath,

happy monthsary!
i can't greet you yet by text so i might as well post it here.maybe someday, you will read this.and i hope you'll have a smile on your face.even a slight lift of your lips would count.
i hope you and gian are going strong.i have trust in you two. i know you both love each other enough to withstand all the criticisms your relationship had faced.that includes me.i will not deny that i doubted you for one second and i do not want to open that up anymore.all i can say is that i stand corrected.i was wrong.i admit it.we all know you two are great counterparts.i just can't seem to put it in my head. but now, there is nothing bad i can say about you and gian. you both have been a great friend and all i can do in return is respect your relationship. i am just glad that you still are together.

happy!!!

2007-01-28T23:07:00.000-08:00

still the best friend issue...

sad to say, we still have not talked. still, the issue is still unsolved.the issue stays??until when??no idea!i do want to deal with it already since the issue was like last year and we should have dealt with it by now. she is stubborn..i am stubborn..now what??are we going to evade each other for the rest of our lives??i hope life is just like the movies-after all the hate scenes, after some time, they pass by each other and just smile and then, everything is a-okay!no discussions..just that odd smile they gave each other. why can't we be that??why can't this part of our life be that scene??

2007-01-09T01:16:00.000-08:00

bestfriend issue...

new year had passed.i should have been all woohoos and yeheys this time but i just can not seem to be on cloud nine. me and kath still isn't alright. no talks.not even texts. i am like in some sort of desolation and uproar with the situation-most especially with myself. i should have done this..i should have done that..but i did not do anything. i just kept my silence hoping that it would change this adverse situation i am in. truth be told, it didn't change anything.it just made it worse.me keeping low just made things more perplex than what it already is.

well, it still is a new year...

starting the year with an unsolved friendship issue is really hard to deal with.but still, it is 2007. i should be happy-at least.just like what most people say, 'your mood and behavior on the first days of the year reflects what year you will be encountering.i don't want to become poignant all year.not at all. so, despite of all the issues i have right now, i MUST enjoy. that is mandatory!

and all that stuff...

i did not even attempt or planned to go to my classes.truth is, i dropped my subjects already. i am going to shift by next semester anyway.what's the point of attending my classes that will not be carried to my next course.
all the shows in etc are like reruns already.i have watched it all-from one tree hill, to veronica mars, and all others.right now, i am seriously praying for them to show the next seasons.whatever happened to brooke davis??and veronica mars??and ANTM??

heck!

2006-12-07T23:16:00.000-08:00

can this day be any hotter...
i am stucked in this room...
"with only one ventilation fan and 35 sweating students"
and, take note, the room is full of computers that are so heated up so i can feel the heat even more...
feels like i am in Manila...
i hate the heat! who doesn't!
i grew up here in Baguio City and heat is not common here... not at all...
i can not stand the scorching heat!
i wanted to whistle but damn, i ain't gifted enough to do that...
please, i need wind.... i need air.....badly!

time to slip away!

2006-12-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

my first day to attend my laboratory class!
heck, it has been a month since our class started and this is my first day!
yeah you're right, i haven't been attending my classes and now that i came, what a surprise!
my instructor decided to not come!great huh?!
i have been waiting for this day and i did not expect that he won't come...
"this must be karma...hmmm?"
since my instructor's not around so i and my friends decided to open a "tagged' account.
god! we acted so funny...
browsing the internet is not allowed so we just slip away everytime he is not looking!
and hell yeah we are good at this...
up to now, we aren't caught yet...
who doesn't want a free access to the net??
surely and definitely not me!
hah!i can be pretty sly!
my instructor may not come but i will still make good use of the three-hour laboratory i have!

panalangin by moontar88

2006-12-07T22:19:00.000-08:00

Panalangin
Moonstar88

Panalangin ko sa habang buhay
Makapiling ka, makasama ka
Yan ang panalangin ko-oh
At hindi papayag, ang pusong ito
Mawala ka, sa ‘king piling
Mahal ko iyong dinggin

At wala ng iba pang mas mahalaga
Sa tamis na dulot ng pag-ibig
Nating dal’wa…
Sana naman makikinig ka
Kapag aking sasabihin
Minamahal kita

Panalangin..
Panalangin ko sa habang buhay
Makapiling ka, makasama ka
Yan ang panalangin ko-oh
At hindi papayag, ang pusong ito
Mawala ka, sa ‘king piling
Mahal ko iyong dinggin

At wala ng iba pang mas mahalaga
Sa tamis na dulot ng pag-ibigNating dal’wa
Sana naman makikinig ka
Kapag aking sasabihin
Minamahal kita…aaah

Panalangin ko sa habang buhay
Makapiling ka, makasama ka
Yan ang panalangin ko-oh
At hindi papayag, ang pusong ito
Mawala ka, sa ‘king piling
Mahal ko, iyong dinggin

Panalangin ko sa habang buhay
Makapiling ka, makasama ka
Yan ang panalangin ko-oh
At hindi papayag, ang pusong ito
Mawala ka, sa ‘king piling
Mahal ko iyong dinggin
Panalangin, panalangin...

hater!

2006-12-05T02:42:00.000-08:00

don't you just hate it when people notice you
only coz they need you

don't you just hate it when you can't say
'tol, you're wrong' coz they'll get mad

don't you just hate it when people say
'i told u so' instead of 'you'll be alright'

don't you just hate it when they laugh at your jokes
and still laugh at your sincerity

don't you just hate it that your friends say they're busy
yet, you see them around

don't you just hate it that you're treated as a doormat
although you know you're not

"i do!""always did!"

fun, fun, fun!

2006-11-26T06:50:00.000-08:00

all about palm grove..

me, my boyfriend jeco, and my friends(shout out:kath, jean, gian, elmer) had this thing with unplanned pool invasion. ha ha! that's what i call it. out of the blue, we just pack our stuffs and just head to nearby resorts. honestly, we even cut class just for that. then, we heard about a resort in asin road that had just opened. out of curiosity, we went there. and to cut the story short, we liked the place-with its ambiance and pools, it was a great sanctuary. a very nice place to bond with my friends and just have fun!
we just had to capture the moments..sayang naman ang view!..

these are the guys that makes us laugh our hearts off all the time.

we just love being together!there are more group shots but i chose these because we are complete here. much thanks to the people who volunteered to take these pictures. i am forever grateful.(=

we were supposed to leave already but we just can't get enough of the view.actually, the spot we are in had this ' keep off the grass' sticked on it but one employee of the place said it's okay! he even took these shots! we were like standing there for ten years because he is not telling us if we are supposed to smile already or if he got the shot. turns out, he already took three! ha ha! thanks anyways!

we are not going to leave without taking these pictures!no no no!

and, lastly, we got tired of just smiling. so we did these cheesy, odd poses. it worked, right??

am’ really scared…

2006-09-14T05:33:00.001-07:00

I am a scaredy-cat., and I’m proud of it!., hekhek! Only few people know that., they think I am a strong person so they do not really care much., they say I can handle everything that comes my way( you think?!) Hell no! I am most likely Courage, the cowardly dog. I get petrified too! I freak out from those oral recitations to those ‘unexpected brownouts while alone’ situations., but I still try to do some things to lessen the fear in me.,
There’s this part on the show Mastermind(by Eric, ‘whatever his surname is’) wherein a video of a ghost was shown. Heck, I was so frightened! I wanted to switch channels but I couldn’t move! I was just so scared… but then I thought- “if I do not watch this, I’d be scared of ghosts my entire life.” So I watched it. And no kidding, I had goose bumps all over me!
It did scare the hell out of me but I guess it was sort of worthwhile., I can’t stay scared all the time…

One fear down, a LOT MORE to go…

2006-09-14T05:28:00.000-07:00

The worst thing you can ever do to yourself is loving someone more than you love yourself- giving everything to a person without leaving any for yourself, making someone think that he is in control, and, never complaining for whatever he does…

what love really is

2006-09-14T05:27:00.000-07:00

I want to believe that love is enough
To give u contentment & to make you laugh
I want to believe that love is enough
To make you stay although times are tough
I guess I was wrong in wanting that
Coz by the way things are, love is NOT really all that

(bu hu hu! Sad but true… whatever we do, there will always… I mean, ALWAYS something more than love can ever offer…)

amistad

2006-09-14T05:22:00.000-07:00

I do not mind having friends coz they are one heck of a group that you can always count on., I do love being around my friends coz they give u a sense of belongingness like no other people can ever give…
If I do not mind having friends, of course I also don’t mind having new friends., it feels good to have new ones too, right?? It is great that my ‘friend count’ is adding up., and, it is real good to know that someone even cared to notice you., that someone even cared…
And, I do mind when your former friends or even your new found friend suddenly decided to be your new found enemy., talk about two-in-one people., I just dislike those kind of people., u trusted them and expected them to be there for you not knowing that behind you, they are really not that good., they are the ‘ultimate plastics’., what I hate most is when they talk trash about you and even have the guts to look straight to your eyes and say ‘I didn’t say/do anything, I wouldn’t do that to you’…what a plastic!.,
If one can’t value friendship, why bother befriending other people., it is bad to be faking other people and it is even worse to make someone put up with the wrong actions you did… before befriending other people, one must be sure to cherish that friendship coz if not, better leave them alone…

kwento ng pag-ibig

2006-09-13T10:19:00.000-07:00

kung ikaw ay isang kwento
ikaw ang pinakamagandang kwento!
punong-puno ng buhay
...saya, takot, kagandahan at lumbay
isa kang kwentong maalala ng lahat
isang kwentong makulay at tapat
bawat pahina, may dalang tuwa
galak na hindi maikakaila

ikaw ang pinakamagandang kwento ng buhay ko
saya, pag-ibig at kagandahan ang dala mo
kinumpleto mo ang pagkatao ko
pinasigla mo ang bawat sulok ng buhay ko
kung wala ka, kulang na kulang ako
kung wala ka, malungkot ang buhay ko
ikaw ang pinakamagandang nangyare sa buhay ko
ikaw ang kwentong habangbuhay na nasa puso ko!

nandito lang ako

2006-09-13T10:09:00.000-07:00

kung kailangan mo ako
nandito lang ako
maasahan mo ako
sa lahat ng problema mo
kahit anong mangyare
andito lang ako sa iyong tabi
hindi ka iiwan
hindi ka pababayaan
sa anumang bagay, tutulungan kita
saan mang lugar, sasamahan kita
mahirapan man ako
di ako magrereklamo
tanda lang to ng pasasalamat ko
sa lahat-lahat ng nagawa mo
sa lahat ng tulong mo
sa pakikisama mo
at sa sayang ibinigay mo
sa totoo lang...
kulang pa to!

i am cramming!again!

2006-09-04T17:57:00.000-07:00

...it has been two weeks and counting since i last attended my classes straight., i have been out of school since the first grading exam., i dont know., 'am just not in the mood to go!., my blockmates have been wondering what the problem is, but actually, there is no problem., i just waana rest for a while from those bumming researches whatsoever., i am a straight A student so i really dont mind getting absent for some time., i can still catch up., i did enjoy not hearing those boring lectures., it is good to be away from pressure., haha!., maybe tomorrow i will go back to school., or maybe not., hmmm.... i think i have to go back tomorrow., the midterm exams will start tomorrow., what?!., is time really that quick??., oh, i think i'm dead!., haven't got any ink on my notebook., what am i suppose to do., i guess i need help., anyone??., help??.,
...well i guess it is true that good things fade quickly.