Pshhh!!

Haven't posted in 3 years and how do i come back?? With a rant of course. Nothing beats the joy of writing down your frustrations on your blog.

So here it goes...

I think its sad how women put too much effort in a relationship only to be taken for granted time and time again. I mean, really, why do we do this to ourselves?! Men do whatever they want without worrying about what we might feel about it. So why do we bother so much??

I understand it's his birthday and he wants to celebrate with family & friends. But what about me?? Does he not want to celebrate it with me?? This happens on every occasion. We plan to do things together but it always always fall apart because he goes out with other people. So why plan then?! He can't squeeze a few hours for me. He always ends up not coming home & if he does, he's all wasted and i end up taking care of his puke and hangover. Why does this happen to me every single time??

Sometimes i just don't wanna bother even planning for occasions because i know in the end, i'll lose. I will never be the priority. Call me selfish but this makes me really sad. I feel like i can never be enough.

I dont think its bad for me to ask for us to celebrate special occasions together. We've been together for so long & if he asks me what i remember about every occasions, i might end up bursting to tears. Why? Because honestly, not once, have i not been left alone and end up celebrating on my own. I can't think of any time that we got to spend my birthday, or his, or heck even valentines day where it's just me and him.

Someone/ something always has to butt in and cut it short for us. ALWAYS.

I just wish. Just one time. One.