vision

i am at the lowest point in my life
it seems like a very bad dream...& i can't wake up!

i really want to just have fun...didn't think it would be so hard

maybe i just wanted to experience all these with them

when i say them, i mean, my family..my friends..

i never pictured that i'd be doing this alone

i so want to go back & return to the way everything was but something within me just wants to give this a shot

weird huh??i am having resistance with myself!!

just when i am convinced to leave, i suddenly just say NO..

irony, irony!!

thing is, if i turned all this down, i would feel so defeated. i always go back to the vision i have...

if i stay,
...i can support & give back what my family deserves
...i can help my friends when they need me

they have helped me in so many ways and now, i have the opportunity to be the one helping them.i don't think i am going to waste that chance....

no matter how bad i feel right now, i would still prefer that they'd be happy!