i am planning to just bury this sentiment i have been carrying since last year to the grave but i know that keeping my silence will not fix our shattered friendship.i know i have to say something.

here goes...i am so stupid to just let things be not alright between us. you are the closest person ever who i allowed to enter my real life. i like shared everything with you.all my family issues and the issues i have with myself. we have shared a lot of things from bliss to gloom, from ups to downs. we almost grew together doing almost the same things-doing the same mistakes, dealing with the same decisions but just one predicament broke our friendship and i am not proud of what i did. all the petty disagreements we never had was the biggest regret for my part. we never fought before and even though there are some things i did not approve of, i kept quiet because i do not want you to be upset.i know there are some things you too did not like about me and yet, you decided to not talk about it and that is my mistake-our mistake. all the remorse i had with you just piled up into this big cloud of detestation that made me so obnoxious and superficial. maybe that's why when i finally found the chance to let it out, i did released it. it was only too late when i got into my senses and realized i made a very huge mistake that i know for sure i will regret my whole life. kath, all has been said and done, i am deeply sorry for hurting your feelings. hurting you made me feel so bad but what made me feel terrible is knowing that i hurt my bestfriend.the person who i am supposed to be siding with, the one who i am supposed to be fighting for and loving no matter what. i felt terrible for saying those words i said against you knowing that you are not that person i am talking about.out of my hatred, i said words that are overly sensitive and totally wrong.i doubted you which i should have not done since you never doubted me at all.you believed in me through everything i did up until now and i didn't.i failed kath. i fell short and i am so guilty of what i did. all i am praying for right at this moment is that you reconsider and accept my apology. i know trust is a big hindrance for you to forgive me but i still am hoping that somehow, there is a part in your heart that still believes in me.i am really sorry.if there is someone to be blamed, blame me.i know it was my fault.i know what i did.i am sorry.